Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
