ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
