Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
