Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
