VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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