well you can't waste a boner
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
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