We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
