dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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