sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
