the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
