I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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