AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It's no shave November. This is our time.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
