I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
