he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
