I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
