I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
