i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I wish I only lived at night.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
