Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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