I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
