How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
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