Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
