She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize