break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
