Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
