I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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