good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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