I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
