His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
