Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
