What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
