Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
