did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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