can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
