Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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