Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
