I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
