We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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