Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize