It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
