ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
