oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
