she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
You ate ashes out of my bong
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
