she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
