I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
