And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
