Do you still have your period?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
