Are we in a gay sports bar?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
