Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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