Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
