I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
