She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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