It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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