i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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