Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
