I must be too annoying 4 u.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
