you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
