somebody snuck up and got me drunk
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
