so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
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