I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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