so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
